Blessed ? Or the opposite ?

Have u ever cried not b'coz of sadness or whatsoever , Its b'coz of how lucky u are compared to other people around u ?? :') I miss having this feeling. I have never gotten it for a long time already. I feel like I have to learn how to appreciate my life in a better way ONCE AGAIN. I remember my mother would always tell me how lucky I was compared to other kids. My whole family was really concerned about me b'coz I was the 1st kid in the family. My grandparents , my parents, [my aunt & uncle (back then , they didn't have kids yet)] used to love me a lot . My FULL MOON celebration was like a person's wedding . LOL it was so damn exaggerating. It was organised by my Grandfather. He loves me a lot . My grandparents took care of me since I was little. I was their 1st grandchild . Maybe thats the reason why they love me the most. I know some of my family members do get jealous at times . Sometimes , I wish that I wasn't 'THAT PERSON' & wish I didn't exist. 'That person' whom gets all the love , my grandfather shows it out so obvious at times. I felt really bad for the others . My grandparents literally treat me as their '1st GrandSON' , they are very concern about my education . I feel very stressful at times b'coz Im sort of a lazy ass . Its hard to fulfill my duty as a grandSON. But I will try my best for them. My worst experiences from last year & this year scarred me so badly. I know that love wouldn't last for eternity and I kind of accepted it. Not even Family Love . Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind. So not true in this cruel and selfish world. People will somehow change. No matter how kind , sincere or whatsoever. Its just the matter of time. Whether I like it or not, I have to accept it . But I will always remember how much they used to love me. I think its enough to just keep the memories and move on with my challenging life. I know my road to success will be a narrow one. Therefore, I have no reason to stop and keep looking back or I will definitely slum into depression. I must overcome this before it takes control of me . I must be positive.

Good Old Memories ?

I dont have the exact word to define my feelings right now. Well , Im listening to Daylight by Maroon 5 Um . . . Memories perhaps.. Are the hardest thing to deal with when we need to leave someone. Keep thinking about the memories that we have gone through with someone special. It makes me feel happy and unhappy at the same time. Im still wondering.. And wishing that time wouldn't pass so fast. I suddenly feel so old . Im scared and tired of all the changes. My life has changed completely ! I mean 360 degrees to be exact ! I wonder what will happen next . Tell me , please .

YOU

My feelings for u is so deep knowing that you still love her so much.. I know you're feeling very hurt but do you know the same goes to me? You lied to me like I was stupid and the most stupid thing was I TRUSTED every word of yours without even hesitating. I wasted so much time worrying about you but what about you yourself? How can you be so selfish and only care about your own feelings? What about others? Dont they have feelings too? You think you're the victim and the whole wide world owes you everything And then you started blaming others instead of WAKING UP You're now in the world of your own,THE WORLD OF JEALOUSY .. You went in by your own and you too have to come out by yourself. Nobody else can ever help you except for yourself. I care too much about you.. Way too much... That I'm so distracted.. I cant help it but to think about you..

Z

Dear Z,

Wanna know something? You WERE the most special boy that I've ever met

in my life.

You were always there for me when I needed your help.

You made up lies to protect me.

You did something you didn't want to do just for me.

You were there to solve my problems.

You helped me with my studies.

You were always patient & gentleman to me.

You made me feel special among my friends.

You made me feel that I'm worthy.

You made me feel loved.

You were always very patient with me.

You used to tell me everything about yourself.

You taught me how to TRUST & be KIND to others.

YOU WERE ALWAYS KIND TO OTHERS & YOU CARED SO MUCH ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL.

Now I realise that I do not longer know you anymore .

YOU'VE CHANGED !

The KINDEST guy in my life is literally changing from day to day.

And it breaks my heart to see you changing from such a caring person,

Into a person that I dont even know ..

You're lost in your world of JEALOUSY & PRIDE ..

The devil is tempting you with all his heart.

& YES you've fell for its trap.

MESSAGE TO GOD :

Dear Lord ,
If you're seeing this..
Can you please , please
I beg you ,Lord
To save HIM from being tempted .
Please ABBAH ,
Give him your hand ,
Send your Holy Spirit to guide his heart back to the right path.
He wasn't a bad person after all..
Why??
Why are all these happening?
MAKE HIM WAKE UP,LORD .
Please do not bring him to temptation
BUT DELIVER HIM FROM evil.
AMEN.

Heal the world !

This song means a lot to me ,

When we gotta make decisions,

Try to think about others feelings too,

Enemies are easy to gain,

But REAL FRIENDS are truly hard to find,

Always be thoughtful & caring ,

Dont judge others too easily ,

Always remember ...

Nobody is perfect ,

We are not less perfect,

But we are also not perfect at all!

It depends on how we define PERFECTION,

To me everyone is just IMPERFECTLY PERFECT ..

Everyone has weaknesses,

& they don't want others to know,

Being prideful will KILL our relationship with others,

If we see the WORLD with a different angle ,

& open our hearts and minds ,

Our hearts will always be in PEACE ,

& every problem has its solution,

All we need to do are ..

TO BELIEVE ,
TO TRUST ,
TO FORGIVE,
TO HAVE FAITH ,
TO BE KIND ,
TO LOVE ,
TO APPRECIATE WHAT OTHERS DO FOR US ,
& BE JOYFUL FOR THE EXISTANCE OF GOD IN OUR LIFE..

Stress

Things are not goin very well for me...The one tat I like got OWNED by

someone,I only have a month to lose weight & to get ready for Year

End exam...I cant afford to fail Addmaths once again...If I fail once

again...I think I'm goin to drop this subject..Its getting pretty

tough to cope with all these shitz..My parents are pressuring me to

study..Its not like I dun wanna study but its difficult for me to

do it coz the subjects are hard & there are a lot of distractions

around me...I cant even cope all the homework & I've probably

stopped doing them...Besides,I need to organise a party..I know

I should be very hardworking but I'm just lazy like an ass..BUT I DONT

WISH TO END UP AS A HOBO!!!

Come Back To Me?♥

Oh boy,I really wanna tell you tat I'm in love with you & I'm sorry

for rejecting you last year...I didn't tend to reject you but I was

just nervous coz you asked me tat question outta sudden...Sorry ya?

Are you willing to give me another chance?I promise tat I wont reject

you like how I did last year..I'm seriously regretting coz u've already

got OWNED by someone..I dont know how much you like her but I know tat

you still have some feelings for me..I know you're dissapointed of me

coz you think that Imma player & I toyed with you feelings...But

boy,I wasn't...I didn't tell you my feelings coz I was afraid of losing

you as a friend..I felt insecure coz they were so many girls around you &

I never thought you would fall for me..I had no self confidence to

accept you...I was afraid tat you would play with my feelings,I only

wanted to protect myself without thinking of your feelings at all...Sorry

I really hope u'll forgive me for my mistake...Its the biggest mistake

that I've ever made in my life...I cant stand losing you just like that..

Boy,I've been liking you OFF & ON since Form 1...You are very very UNIQUE

to me,dear...Coz you wont take me for granted,use me for some purpose

nor take advantage of me..You were always kind & caring to me even until

now...We've been through so much,boy...& I CANT LET YOU GO AWAY...You're

everything to me...I know you would like to go to US to futher your

studies & even make your living there..I'm willing to lose everythin

to go there with you if only I had one more chance to be with you..

You asked me to put in a relationship status on FB with you but I refused

I'm sorry once again...You asked me whether you're good looking or not

I just laughed...Deep inside Yes you are coz you possess the most

beautiful soul that I've ever seen...♥ So are you willing to come back
♥
to me?I promise that I'll never let you go again...I LOVE YOU...